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Near Moscow: Whitney Houston in the Soviet army The front page mainstream grief about the death of stars always makes me ask...
Caucasian holiday? The mountains catch your eye wherever you are in the Caucasus. Even when you...
Extremely obscure, very authentic, unbelievably Bulgakov-ish… At the hour of the hot spring sunset, two citizens appeared at Patriarch's...
(scenes from village life in four pictures)
MADAM ULANBEKOV, an old woman of nearly sixty, tall, thin, with a large nose, and thick, black eyebrows; of an Eastern type of face, with a small mustache. She is powdered and rouged, and dressed richly in black. She is owner of two thousand serfs;
LEONID, her son, eighteen years old, very handsome, resembling his mother slightly. Wears summer dress. Is studying in Petersburg;
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA, a toady of MADAM ULANBEKOV’S, an old maid of forty. Scanty hair, parted slantingly, combed high, and held by a large comb. She is continually smiling with a wily expression, and she suffers from toothache; about her throat is a yellow shawl fastened by a brooch;
POTAPYCH, the old steward. Tie and vest, white; coat black. Has an air of importance;
NADYA (short from Nadezhda), seventeen years old, favorite protégée of MADAM ULANBEKOV; dressed like a young lady;
GAVRILOVNA, the housekeeper; an elderly woman, plump, with an open countenance;
GRISHA, a boy of nineteen, a favorite of the mistress, dandified in dress, wearing a watch with a gold chain. He is handsome, curly-headed, with a foolish expression;
NEGLIGENTOV, a clerk in a government office; a very disreputable young man;
LIZA, a housemaid, not bad-looking, but very stout and snub-nosed; in a white dress, of which the bodice is short and ill-fitting. About her neck is a little red kerchief; her hair is very much pomaded;
a PEASANT GIRL, a FOOTMAN, and a HOUSEMAID: mute personages.
The action takes place in the springtime, at the suburban estate of MADAM ULANBEKOV.
Part of a densely grown garden; on the right benches; at the back a rail fence, separating the garden from a field.
Enter NADYA and LIZA.
NADYA: No, Liza, don't say that: what comparison could there be between country and city life!
LIZA: What is there so specially fine about city life?
NADYA: Well, everything is different there; the people themselves, and even the whole social order are entirely different. (She sits down on a bench). When I was in Petersburg with the mistress, one had only to take a look at the sort of people who came to see us, and at the way our rooms were decorated; besides, the mistress took me with her everywhere; we even went on the steamer to Peterhof, and to Tsarskoe Selo.
LIZA: That was pretty fine, I suppose.
NADYA: Yes indeed, it was so splendid that words can't describe it! Because, no matter how much I may tell you about it, if you haven't seen it yourself, you'll never understand. And when a young lady, the mistress's niece, was visiting us, I used to chat with her the whole evening, and sometimes we even sat through the night.
LIZA: What in the world did you talk about with her?
NADYA: Well, naturally, for the most part about the ways of high society, about her dancing partners, and about the officers of the guard. And as she was often at balls, she told me what they talked about there, and whom she had liked best. Only how fine those young ladies are!
LIZA: What do you mean?
NADYA: They’re very gay. And where did they learn all that? Afterwards we lived a whole winter in Moscow. Seeing all this, my dear, you try to act like a born lady yourself. Your very manners change, and you try to have a way of talking of your own.
LIZA: But why should we try to be fine ladies? Much good it does!
NADYA: Much good, you say? Well, you see the ladies promised to marry me off, so I am trying to educate myself, so that no one'll be ashamed to take me. You know what sort of wives our officials have; well, what a lot they are! And I understand life and society ten times better than they do. Now I have just one hope: to marry a good man, so I may be the mistress of my own household. You just watch then how I'll manage the house; it will be no worse at my house than at any fine lady's.
LIZA: God grant your wish! But do you notice how the young master is running after you?
NADYA: Much good it'll do him! Of course, he's a pretty fellow, you might even say, a beauty; only he has nothing to expect from me; because I am decidedly not of that sort; and on the other hand, I'm trying now in every way that there may be no scandal of any sort about me. I have but one thing in mind: to get married.
LIZA: Even married life is sometimes no joy! You may get such a husband that… God help you!
NADYA: What a joy it would be to me to marry a really fine man! I, thank God, am able to distinguish between people: who is good, who bad. That's easy to see at once from their manners and conversation. But the mistress is so unreasonable in holding us in so strictly, and in keeping everlasting watch over us! Indeed, it's insulting to me! I'm a girl that knows how to take care of herself without any watching.
LIZA: It looks as if the master were coming.
NADYA: Then let's go. They rise and go out. LEONID comes in with a gun.
LEONID and then POTAPYCH
LEONID: Wait a bit! Hey, you, where are you going? Why are they always running away from me? You can't catch them anyhow! He stands musing. Silence.
GIRL (sings behind the rail fence):
“No man may hope to flee the sting
Of cruel affliction’s pain;
New love within the heart may sing –
Regret still in its train”.
LEONID (Running up to the fence): What a pretty girl you are!
GIRL: Pretty, but not yours!
LEONID: Come here!
GIRL: Where?
LEONID: To me in the garden.
GIRL: Why go to you?
LEONID: I'll go to town and buy you earrings.
GIRL: You're only a kid!
She laughs loudly and goes out. LEONID stands with bowed head musing. POTAPYCH enters in hunting-dress, with a gun.
POTAPYCH: One can't keep up with you, sir; you have young legs.
LEONID (all the while lost in thought) All this, Potapych, will be mine.
POTAPYCH: All yours, sir, and we shall all be yours… Just as we served the old master, so we must serve you… Because you're of the same blood… That's the right way. Of course, may God prolong your dear mamma's days…
LEONID: Then I shan't enter the service, Potapych; I shall come directly to the country, and here I shall live.
POTAPYCH: You must enter the service, sir.
LEONID: What's that you say? Much I must! They'll make me a copying clerk! (He sits down upon a bench).
POTAPYCH: No, sir, why should you work yourself? That's not the way to do things! They'll find a position for you – of the most gentlemanly, delicate sort; your clerks will work, but you'll be their chief, over all of them. And promotions will come to you of themselves.
LEONID: Perhaps they will make me vice-governor, or elect me marshal of the nobility.
POTAPYCH: It's not improbable.
LEONID: Well, and when I'm vice-governor, shall you be afraid of me?
POTAPYCH: Why should I be afraid? Let others cringe, but for us it's all the same. You are our master: that's honor enough for us.
LEONID (not hearing): Tell me, Potapych, have we many pretty girls here?
POTAPYCH: Why, really, sir, if you think it over, why shouldn't there be girls? There are some on the estate, and among the house servants; only it must be said that in these matters the household is very strictly run. Our mistress, owing to her strict life and her piety, looks after that very carefully. Now just take this: she herself marries off the protégées and housemaids whom she likes. If a man pleases her, she marries the girl off to him, and even gives her a dowry, not a big one – needless to say. There are always two or three protégées on the place. The mistress takes a little girl from some one or other and brings her up; and when she is seventeen or eighteen years old, then, without any talk, she marries her off to some clerk or townsman, just as she takes a notion, and sometimes even to a nobleman. Ah, yes, sir! Only what an existence for these protégées, sir! Misery!
LEONID: But why?
POTAPYCH: They have a hard time. The lady says: “I have found you a prospective husband, and now,” she says, “the wedding will be on such and such a day, and that's an end to it; and don't one of you dare to argue about it!” It's a case of get along with you to the man you're told to. Because, sir, I reason this way: who wants to see disobedience in a person he's brought up? And sometimes it happens that the bride doesn't like the groom, nor the groom the bride: then the lady falls into a great rage. She even goes out of her head. She took a notion to marry one protégée to a petty shopkeeper in town; but he, an unpolished individual, was going to resist. “The bride doesn't please me,” he said, “and, besides, I don't want to get married yet.” So the mistress complained at once to the town bailiff and to the priest: well, they brought the blockhead round.
LEONID: You don't say.
POTAPYCH: Yes, sir. And even if the mistress sees a girl at one of her acquaintances', she immediately looks up a husband for her. Our mistress reasons this way: that they are stupid; that if she doesn't look after them closely now, they'll just waste their life and never amount to anything. That's the way, sir. Some people, because of their stupidity, hide girls from the mistress, so that she may never set eyes on them; because if she does, it's all up with the girls.
LEONID: And so she treats other people's girls the same way?
POTAPYCH: Other people's, too. She extends her care to everybody. She has such a kind heart that she worries about everybody. She even gets angry if they do anything without her permission. And the way she looks after her protégées is just a wonder. She dresses them as if they were her own daughters. Sometimes she has them eat with her; and she doesn't make them do any work. “Let everybody look,” says the mistress, “and see how my protégées live; I want every one to envy them,” she says.
LEONID: Well, now, that's fine, Potapych.
POTAPYCH: And what a touching little sermon she reads them when they're married! “You,” she says, “have lived with me in wealth and luxury, and have had nothing to do; now you are marrying a poor man, and will live your life in poverty, and will work, and will do your duty. And now forget,” she says, “how you lived here, because not for you I did all this; I was merely diverting myself, but you must never even think of such a life; always remember your insignificance, and of what station you are.” And all this so feelingly that there are tears in her own eyes.
LEONID: Well, now, that's fine.
POTAPYCH: I don't know how to describe it, sir. Somehow they all get tired of married life later; they mostly pine away.
LEONID: Why do they pine away, Potapych?
POTAPYCH: Must be they don't like it, if they pine away.
LEONID: That's queer.
POTAPYCH: The husbands mostly turn out ruffians.
LEONID: Is that so?
POTAPYCH: Everybody hopes to get one of our protégées, because the mistress right away becomes his patroness. Now in the case of these she marries to government clerks, there's a good living for the husband; because if they want to drive him out of the court, or have done so, he goes at once to our mistress with a complaint, and she's a regular bulwark for him; she'll bother the governor himself. And then the government clerk can get drunk or anything else, and not be afraid of anybody, unless he is insubordinate or steals a lot…
LEONID: But, say, Potapych, why is it that the girls run away from me?
POTAPYCH: How can they help running? They must run, sir!
LEONID: Why must they?
POTAPYCH: Hm! Why? Why, because, as you are still under age, the mistress wants to watch over you as she ought to; well, and she watches over them, too.
LEONID: She watches us, ha, ha, ha!
POTAPYCH: Yes, sir. That's the truth! She was talking about that. You're a child, just like a dove, but, well – the girls are foolish. (Silence) What next, sir? It's your mamma's business to be strict, because she is a lady. But why should you mind her! You ought to act for yourself, as all young gentlemen do. You don't have to suffer because she's strict. Why should you let others get ahead of you? That'd disgrace you.
LEONID: Well, well, but I don't know how to talk to the girls.
POTAPYCH: But what's the use of talking to them a long time? What about? What kind of sciences would you talk about with them? Much they understand such stuff! You're just the master, and that's all.
LEONID (Glances to one side): Who's this coming? That's NADYA, evidently. Ah, Potapych, how pretty she is!
POTAPYCH: She is related to me, sir, my niece. Her father was set free by the late master; he was employed in a confectioner's in Moscow. When her mother died, her mistress took and brought her up, and is awful fond of her. And because her father is dead, why, now, she's an orphan. She's a good girl.
LEONID: Looks as if they were coming this way.
POTAPYCH: Well, let 'em.
GAVRILOVNA and NADYA enter.
The same, GAVRILOVNA and NADYA.
GAVRILOVNA: How do you do, good master?
LEONID (bows): How do you do?
GAVRILOVNA: Well, master, I suppose you're bored in the country?
LEONID: No, not at all.
GAVRILOVNA: What, not bored yet! Why, you see it's like a monastery here; they look after you with a hundred eyes. Well, as for you, it goes without saying, you're a young gentleman, you ought to have some amusement; but you can't. It's no great joy to shoot ducks! (She laughs).
LEONID (going up to GAVRILOVNA): Yes, yes, Gavrilovna.
NADYA (to GAVRILOVNA): Let's go.
GAVRILOVNA: Where do you want to go? Now, seeing that the mistress isn't at home, you ought to have a little fun with the young master. That's what young folks need. And what a clever girl she is, master! In talking, and in everything.
NADYA: Come, what's the use!
GAVRILOVNA: Well, there's no harm in it! I was young once. I didn't run away from the gentlemen, and you see they didn't eat me. Perhaps even he won't bite you. Quit playing the prude, and stay here! But I'm going to get the tea ready! Good-by, good master! (She goes out).
LEONID: Why did you not wish to remain with me?
POTAPYCH: What's this, sir! You talk to her as if she were a young lady! Call her Nadya!
LEONID: What are you afraid of, Nadya?
NADYA is silent.
POTAPYCH: Talk! What are you keeping still for? And I'm going, sir; I must get dressed for tea, too. (He goes out).
LEONID, NADYA, and then LIZA.
NADYA: Of course I'm a girl of humble position, but, indeed, even we do not want anybody to speak evil of us. Pray consider yourself, after such talk, who would marry me?
LEONID: Are you going to get married?
NADYA: Yes, sir. Every girl hopes to get married some time.
LEONID: But have you a suitor?
NADYA: Not yet, sir.
LEONID (timidly): If you have no suitor, then, maybe you're in love with somebody?
NADYA: You want to know a lot! Well, no, I needn't fib about it, I'm not in love with anybody, sir.
LEONID (with great joy): Then love me!
NADYA: It's impossible to force the heart, sir.
LEONID: Why? Don't you like me?
NADYA: Well, how could I help liking you? But I'm not your equal! What sort of love is that? Clean ruin! Here comes Liza running after me, I suppose. Good-by. Good luck to you! (She goes away).
LIZA comes in.
LIZA: Master, if you please! Your mamma has come.
LEONID: Liza!
LIZA (approaching): What is it, please?
LEONID (he embraces LIZA, she trembles with pleasure): Why won't Nadya love me?
LIZA (affectedly): What are you talking about, master! Girls of our sort must look out for themselves!
LEONID: Look out for yourselves how?
LIZA (looks him in the face and smiles): Why, everybody knows. What are you talking like a child for?
LEONID (sadly): What shall I do now? Indeed, I don't know. They all run away from me.
LIZA: But don't lose courage; just make love a little bit. Heavens, our hearts aren't of stone!
LEONID: But see here! I asked her: she said she didn't love me.
LIZA: Well, if you aren't a queer one! Whoever asked girls right out whether they were in love or not! Even if one of us girls was in love, she wouldn't say so.
LEONID: Why?
LIZA: Because she's bashful. Only let me go, sir! (She gets free) There goes the old fury!
LEONID: Come out here into the garden after supper, when mamma goes to bed.
LIZA: You don't lose any time!
LEONID: Please come.
LIZA: Well, we'll see later. (VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA enters) Master, please come to tea, your mamma is waiting.
LEONID: All right, I'm coming.
The same and VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: I saw you, my dear, I saw you.
LIZA: There was nothing to see (She goes out).
LEONID: Well, what did you see? What are you going to complain about? I shall simply say that you lie. Whom are they going to believe quicker, you or me? (He makes a grimace and goes out).
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: There, that's the way they all treat me. I can't stand it! My heart is just sick. I'm a martyr in this world. (She plucks a flower viciously and pulls off its petals) I believe that if I had the power I'd do this to all of you! I'd do this to all of you! I'd do this to all of you! You just wait, you young scamp! I'll catch you. My heart boils, it boils, it boils over! And now I must smirk before the mistress as if I were a fool. What a life! What a life! The sinners in hell do not suffer as I suffer in this house! She goes out).
A parlor. Rear centre, a door opening into the garden. Doors at the sides; in the centre a round table.
From a side door there enter a footman with a samovar and a maid with a tea-service; they place both on the table and go out. GAVRILOVNA and POTAPYCH enter after them. GAVRILOVNA prepares the tea. VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA enters from the garden.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: My dear, you always serve me only water.
GAVRILOVNA: It isn't good for you to drink strong tea, madam.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: It's not your business to worry about me!
GAVRILOVNA: It dries up the chest, and you're all dried up as it is.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: What a life! What a life! I am not dried up from tea-drinking, my dear, but from the insults of the world.
GAVRILOVNA: Insults! You insult everybody yourself, as if something were stirring you up!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Don't you dare talk to me like that. Just remember who you are. I once owned serfs myself; at my place, such people as you didn't dare peep, they walked the chalk. I didn't let your sort get high-headed!
GAVRILOVNA: That time's gone by. God gives a vicious cow no horns.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Oh, you monsters, wretches! You want me to die. Soon I shall die, soon; my soul feels its fast approaching end! (Raising her eyes heavenward) Shelter me from men, O lid of my coffin! Take me to thee, moist earth! Then you'll be happy; then you'll be joyful!
POTAPYCH: We? What's it to us?… Tend to your own business.
GAVRILOVNA: While God is patient with your sins.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: For my sins I have already been tortured here. I mourn now the sins of others.
GAVRILOVNA: It would be better for you not to bother with other people's sins. Now you're getting ready to die, yet you talk about the sins of others. Aren't you afraid?
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Afraid of what? Why should I be afraid?
GAVRILOVNA: Of that little black man with the hook. He's waiting for you now, I guess.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Where am I? Where am I? My God! Just as if I were in a slough; monsters…
(From the left side MADAM ULANBEKOV, NADYA, LIZA, and GRISHA come in).
The same and MADAM ULANBEKOV, GRISHA, NADYA, and LIZA.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Did our benefactress deign to attend prayer service?
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Yes, I went to vespers in town; to-day is a holiday there.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Did you distribute generous alms among the people present?
MADAM ULANBEKOV: No, I only called in Pustaya Street at old man Negligentov's. He asked me to set up his nephew; you see, the nephew is my godson. I'm sorry for these people!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: And you, dear soul, are a benefactress to all. To all alike, to all! You do favors to people who aren't even worth your looking at.
MADAM ULANBEKOV (sits down): Never mind, my dear. One must do good to his neighbor.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: But do they feel that good? Can they understand, heartless creatures, how great is your condescension to them?
MADAM ULANBEKOV: It's all the same to me, my dear! One must do good for his own sake, for his own soul. Then I stopped in to see the chief of police, and asked him to make Negligentov head-clerk.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: But, my benefactress, is he worthy?
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Don't interrupt! A strange man, our chief of police! I ask him, and he says: “There's no job!” I say to him: “You evidently don't understand who's asking you?” “Well!” says he, “do you expect me to drive out a good man for your godson?” Churlish fellow! However, he promised!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: To think of his hesitating! I cannot understand how he could even talk back to you. Here his ill-breeding shows up at once. Maybe Negligentov, because of his life, isn't worth saying much about; nevertheless, the chief ought to do everything in the world for him for your sake, no matter how worthless a scamp Negligentov might be.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Don't you forget that he's my godson!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: And for that very reason, benefactress, I add: he is your godson; well, and that's all there is to it; the chief of police ought not to listen to any kind of gossip. And, besides, what things they do say! They say that he's utterly worthless, that his uncle got him a court job, but he won't stay with it. He was gone a whole week, they say, somewhere or other about three miles down the highroad, near the tavern, fishing. Yes, and that he is a drunkard beyond his years. But whose business is it? He must be worthy of it, since you ask it.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: I've never heard that. I've never seen him drunk; but I spoke to the chief of police on his behalf, because he's my godson. I take his mother's place.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: I know, benefactress, I know; every one knows that if you take a notion, you, my benefactress, can make a man out of mud; but if you don't take a notion to do so, he'll fall into insignificance no matter how brainy he may be. He's to blame himself, because he didn't deserve it!
MADAM ULANBEKOV: I'm sure I never did any one any harm.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Harm? You, who because of your angelic heart wouldn't hurt even a fly! Of course all we mortals are not without sins; you have done many things; you can't please everybody. Indeed, to tell the truth, my dear benefactress, there are people enough who complain about you.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Who complains about me? What a lie!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: It's impossible for you to know everything, dear benefactress. And it's not worth while for you, in your gentility, to trouble yourself about every low-lived person. And though they do complain, what's the use of paying attention; are they worth your notice? Since you do so many good deeds for others, God will forgive you, our benefactress.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: All the same, I want to know whom I have offended?
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Well, there are some persons, benefactress.
MADAM ULANBEKOV (forcibly): But who? Speak!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Don't be angry, benefactress! I spoke as I did because you yourself know how touchy people are nowadays – never satisfied.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: You spoke as you did in order to cause me some unpleasantness.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: May my eyes burst if I did.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Well, I know you. You're never at rest in your own soul unless you're about to say something mean. You will please be more careful; otherwise you'll drive me out of patience one of these days; it'll be all the worse for you. (Silence) Serve the tea.
GAVRILOVNA: Right away, mistress.
(She pours out two cups. POTAPYCH hands them to MADAM ULANBEKOV and to VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA).
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Pour Grisha a cup, too; he went with me to-day, and he's tired out.
GAVRILOVNA: Yes, mistress. (She pours out a cup and hands it to GRISHA).
GRISHA: Why didn't you put more milk in it? Are you stingy, eh?
GAVRILOVNA (adding milk): As it is, you're fattened on milk, like a calf.
(GRISHA takes the cup and goes out through the door into the garden).
MADAM ULANBEKOV: I have thought of marrying Nadya to Negligentov – with a decent settlement, of course. You say that he leads a bad life; consequently we must hasten the wedding. She is a girl of good principles, she'll hold him back, otherwise he'll ruin himself with his bachelor habits. Bachelor life is very bad for young men.
NADYA (to LIZA): Do you hear, Liza? What's this? My God!
LIZA: You just have to listen, and you can't say a word.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: It's high time she was married, benefactress; why should she be hanging around here? And now your young son, the angel, has come.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Oh, be still! What are you thinking up now? Why, he's only a child!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: A child, benefactress! Well, there's nothing more to be said; God gave you a son as a joy and a consolation. And we can never feast our eyes enough on him. It's just as if the sunshine had come into our house. So good-natured, so merry, so gentle with every one! But he's already running after the girls so; he never lets one pass; and they, silly things, are tickled to death; they fairly snort with delight.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: You're lying. He never has a chance to see the girls anywhere, I think; all day long they are in their own side of the house, and, besides, they never go anywhere.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Ah, benefactress, there are no locks to keep a girl in, once she takes a notion to do something.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: You hear, Gavrilovna! Look after my girls. You know I won't have any loose conduct. You tell them that so they'll know I mean it. (to VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA) But no, there can't be anything like that. You're merely disturbing me with your silly notions. What a dirty tongue you have! What business had you to chatter? And now I can't get the stuff out of my head! Keep watch, Gavrilovna!
GAVRILOVNA: What's the use of listening to her, mistress?
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: But really, benefactress, am I saying anything bad? Would I dare to think any harm about him, that little angel? Of course he's still a child, he wants to frisk a little; but here he hasn't any companions, so he plays with the girls.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: There's poison on your tongue. (She reflects. POTAPYCH takes the cups. GAVRILOVNA fills them and gives them back. GRISHA comes in from the garden, gives GAVRILOVNA a push, and makes a sign with his head that she is to pour him another cup. GAVRILOVNA does so. GRISHA goes out) However, I must marry off Nadya.
NADYA (almost weeping): Mistress, you have shown me such kindness that I can't even express it. Forgive me for daring to speak to you now; but, because of your attitude towards me, I expected quite a different favor from you. In what respect have I displeased you now, mistress, that you wish to marry me to a drunkard?
MADAM ULANBEKOV: My dear, it's not for you to argue about that; you're just a girl. You ought to rely in all things upon me, your patroness. I brought you up, and I am even bound to establish you in life. And again, you ought not to forget this: that he is my godson. Rather, you ought to be thankful for the honor. And now I tell you once and for all: I do not like it when my girls argue, I simply do not like it, and that's all there is to it. That's a thing I cannot permit anybody. I've been accustomed, from my youth, to having people obey my every word; it's time you knew that! And it's very strange to me, my dear, that you should presume to oppose me. I see that I have spoiled you; and you at once get conceited. (NADYA weeps).
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Benefactress, one must have feeling for his fellow creature, one must have feeling. But what kind of feelings can such as they have, save ingratitude?
MADAM ULANBEKOV: No one's talking to you! What are you mixing into everything for? (To NADYA, sternly) What new tale is this? Still crying! Let's have no more tears! (NADYA weeps) I'm talking to you. (Rising slightly) Your tears mean absolutely nothing to me! When I make up my mind to do a thing, I take a firm stand, and listen to no one on earth! (She sits down) And know, first of all, that your obstinacy will lead to nothing; you will simply anger me.
NADYA (weeping): I'm an orphan, mistress! Your will must be obeyed!
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Well, I should say! Of course it must; because I brought you up; that's equal to giving you life itself.
(LEONID enters).
The same and LEONID.
LEONID: How are you, mamma?
MADAM ULANBEKOV: How are you, my dear? Where have you been?
LEONID: I went hunting with Potapych. I killed two ducks, mamma.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: You don't spare your mother; the idea, going hunting in your state of health! You'll fall sick again, God forbid! and then you'll simply kill me! Ah, my God, how I have suffered with that child! (She muses).
GAVRILOVNA: Some tea, master?
LEONID: No, thanks.
MADAM ULANBEKOV (to VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA): When he was born, I was ill a very long time. Then he was always sickly, and he grew up puny. How many tears have I shed over him! Sometimes I would just look at him, and my tears would flow; no, it will never be my lot to see him in the uniform of the guardsmen! But it was most distressing of all for me when his father, owing to the boy's poor health, was unable to send him to a military school. How much it cost me to renounce the thought that he might become a soldier! For half a year I was ill. Just imagine to yourself, my dear, when he finishes his course, they will give him some rank or other, such as they give to any priest's son clerking in a government office! Isn't it awful? In the military service, especially in the cavalry, all ranks are aristocratic; one knows at once that even a junker is from the nobility. But what is a provincial secretary, or a titular councillor! Any one can be a titular councillor – even a merchant, a church-school graduate, a low-class townsman, if you please. You have only to study, then serve awhile. Why, one of the petty townsmen who is apt at learning will get a rank higher than his! That's the way of the world! That's the way of the world! Oh, dear! (She turns away with a wave of her hand) I don't like to pass judgment on anything that is instituted by higher authority, and won't permit others to do so, but, nevertheless, I don't approve of this system. I shall always say loudly that it's unjust, unjust.
LEONID: Why are Nadya's eyes red from crying?
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: She hasn't been flogged for a long time.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: That's none of your business, my dear. Nadya, go away, you're not needed here.
(NADYA goes out).
LEONID: Well, I know why: you want to marry her off.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Whether I do or not, my dear, is my own business. Furthermore, I do not like to have any one meddle in my arrangements.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: What a clever young man you are; you know everything, you get into everything!
LEONID: Indeed, mamma dear, I don't mean to meddle in your arrangements. Only he's a drunkard.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: And that, again, is none of your business. Leave that to your mother's judgment.
LEONID: I'm only sorry for her, mamma.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: All very fine, my dear; but I should like to know from whom you heard that I'm going to marry NADYA. If one of the housemaids has…
LEONID: No, mamma, no.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: How could you find out otherwise? How did that get out? (to GAVRILOVNA) Find out without fail!
LEONID: No, indeed, mamma; the man she's going to marry told me.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: What sort of a man?
LEONID: I don't know what sort! He said he was a clerk in a government office… a peculiar surname: NEGLIGENTOV. What a funny fellow he is! He says he's your godson, and that he's afraid of nobody. He's dancing in the garden now, drunk.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Drunk, in my house!
LEONID: If you want, I'll invite him in. Potapych, call Negligentov! He said that you were at his uncle's to-day, and that you promised to give him Nadya. Already he's reckoning, in anticipation, how much income he will get in the court, or “savings,” as he says. What a funny fellow! He showed me how they taught him at school. Do you want me to bring him in?
(Enter POTAPYCH and NEGLIGENTOV).
The same, NEGLIGENTOV and POTAPYCH.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Oh, oh, how disgusting! Don't come near me!
NEGLIGENTOV: I'm sent from uncle to thank you for your bounty.
LEONID: He says, mamma, that they taught him a good deal, only it was impossible for him to learn anything.
NEGLIGENTOV: Impossible; from my birth I had no aptitude for the sciences. I received from fifty to a hundred birch rods nearly every day, but they didn't quicken my understanding.
LEONID: Oh, mamma, how amusingly he tells about the way he learned! Here, just listen. Well, and how did you learn Latin?
NEGLIGENTOV: Turpissime!
MADAM ULANBEKOV (shrugging her shoulders): What in the world is that?
NEGLIGENTOV: Most abominably.
LEONID: No, wait a bit; and what did the teacher do with you?
NEGLIGENTOV (bursts out laughing): It made you laugh. Once, after a cruel torture, he commanded two students to fasten me by the neck with a belt, and to lead me through the market-place as a laughing-stock.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: How is it they took you into the civil service if you never learned anything?
NEGLIGENTOV: Through the mediation of influential people.
LEONID: And did they expel you from school?
NEGLIGENTOV: They didn't expel me; but they excluded me because I grew too much.
LEONID: Grew too much?
NEGLIGENTOV: Well, as I, during all this teaching and grilling, remaining in the lower grades, was getting on in years, and grew more than the other fellows of my class, of course I was excluded because I was too big. I suffered all the more from the venality of those at the head. Our rector liked gifts; and a week before the examinations, he sent us all to our parents for presents. According to the number of these presents, we were promoted to the higher classes.
LEONID: What was your conduct like?
NEGLIGENTOV: Reprehensible.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: What in the world! Good heavens! Go away, my dear sir, go away!
LEONID: Oh, mamma, he's comical; wait a bit before driving him out. Dance, NEGLIGENTOV!
NEGLIGENTOV (dances and sings):
“I shall go, shall go to mow
Upon the meadow green”.
GRISHA bursts out laughing.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Stop, stop! (NEGLIGENTOV ceases. To GRISHA) What are you laughing at?
GRISHA: The member dances very comically.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: What do you mean, “member”?
GRISHA: Why, he himself tells us all that he is a member in the court, not a copy-clerk. And so they call him the member.
NEGLIGENTOV: I call myself the member, although falsely, but expressly for the respect of the court menials, and in order to escape scoffing and insult.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Be gone, and don't you ever dare to show yourself to me!
NEGLIGENTOV: Uncle says that I fell into loose living because of my bachelor life, and that I may get mired in it unless you show me your favor.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: No, no, never!
NEGLIGENTOV (on his knees): Uncle told me to beg you with tears, because I am a lost man, subject to many vices, and, without your favor, I shall not be tolerated in the civil service.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Tell your uncle that I shall always be your benefactress; but don't you even think about a wife! Be gone, be gone!
NEGLIGENTOV: I thank you for not deserting me! (to GRISHA) Ask the mistress to let you go to the fair, and catch up with me! (He goes out).
The same, except NEGLIGENTOV.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: How easy it is to be mistaken in people! You take pains for them, work your head off, and they don't even feel it. I should have been glad to establish that boy in life, but he crawls into the house drunk. Now, if he's a prey to that weakness, he ought, at least, to try to hide it from me. Let him drink where he will, but don't let me see it! I should know, at least, that he respected me. What clownishness! What impudence! Whom will he be afraid of, pray tell, if not of me?
LEONID: Oh, what a comical fellow! Don't be angry with me, mamma. When I found out that you wanted to marry NADYA to him, I felt sorry for her. And you're so good to everybody! (he kisses her hand) I didn't want you to do anything unjust.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Such people fairly drive you into sin. (Kissing him) You have a beautiful soul, my dear! (To VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA) Indeed, I have always thought that God himself sometimes speaks with the lips of babes. Liza! Go tell Nadezhda not to cry, that I have turned out NEGLIGENTOV.
LIZA: Yes, ma'am. (She goes out).
GRISHA (approaches, swaggering, and stops in a free and easy pose): Mistress!
MADAM ULANBEKOV: What's the matter with you?
GRISHA: Let me go down-town; to-day's a holiday there.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: What do you want to go for? To stare at the drunkards?
GRISHA (clasping his hands behind him): Please, ma'am.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: No, most certainly not!
GRISHA: Please do, mistress.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: I tell you, positively, no! One's morals are just spoiled at these fairs. Your greedy ears will take in all kinds of nastiness! You're still a boy; that's no place for you!
GRISHA: No, but please let me, ma'am.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: You stay right here! Put that nonsense out of your head!
GRISHA: Well, I declare! I slave, and slave, and can't ever go anywhere!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Oh me, oh my! Oh me, oh my! How spoiled you are! How spoiled you are!
MADAM ULANBEKOV: What are you cackling about? Keep still!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: But how can I keep still, benefactress? Such lack of feeling! Such ingratitude! It pierces the heart.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: I command you to keep still, and you must keep still!
GRISHA: Please let me, ma'am!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: As if the mistress didn't love you, as if she didn't fondle you, more, if anything, than her own son!
MADAM ULANBEKOV (stamping her foot): Shhh!… I'll turn you out!
GRISHA: I want awfully to go to the fair; please let me, ma'am.
MADAM ULANBEKOV: Well, go along then! But come back early!
GRISHA: Yes, ma'am.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Kiss the dear lady's hand, you blockhead!
GRISHA: What are you trying to teach me for? I know my own business. (He kisses the mistress's hand and goes out).
MADAM ULANBEKOV: As for you, my dear, if I ever hear anything like this again, I'll have them drive you off the place with brooms.
(She goes out. VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA remains standing in a stupor).
The same, except MADAM ULANBEKOV; then LIZA.
LEONID: Well, you caught it, didn't you? And you deserved it, too!
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: I'll have my turn yet.
(LIZA enters).
LIZA (quietly to LEONID): Nadya sent me to say that we'll come to the garden.
LEONID: Give her a kiss from me.
GAVRILOVNA: God give you health, master, for taking our part. Any wretch can insult us; but there's no one to take our part. You'll get a rich reward for that in the next world.
LEONID: I'm always ready to help you. (he goes out to the right, with a caper).
GAVRILOVNA: Thanks, my dear! (she goes out with LIZA, to the left).
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA and POTAPYCH
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Why don't you insult me? They all insult me, why don't you? You heard how she herself wanted to flog me; “I'll have them do it with brooms,” she said. May her words choke her!
POTAPYCH: What, I!… I insult anybody! But as to the gentlefolk there … I don't know, but perhaps they have to.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: Do you see what's going on in this house! Do you see? Do you understand it, or don't you? Just now when I began to talk about Grisha, you heard how she began to roar? You heard how she began to hiss?
POTAPYCH: What's that to me? I, by the mistress's kindness, in her employ…I shall carry out all her orders… What business is it of mine? I don't want to know anything that isn't my business.
VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA: But did you see how Nadya and Liza – the hussies! – looked at me? Did you see how the snakes looked? Ha! I must look after them, I must! (POTAPYCH, with a wave of his hand, goes out) Bah! you! you old blockhead! What people! What people! There's no one to whom I can talk, and relieve my heart. (She goes out).