Next Year's News?
Published: 24 November, 2009, 12:43
Edited: 06 December, 2009, 02:34
Here is the news. November 23, 2010, one year into the future. What a difference a year makes.
- President Obama got tough today, issuing a stern warning to the government of Iran who has now developed ten nuclear warheads. “Develop anymore,” warned Obama, “and the US will lead a motion before the United Nations calling for public censure.” Sources say that the White House is “actively considering” sanctions.
- The president told members of the press today that he is much closer to a decision about the September 9, 2009, recommendation submitted by General McChrystal that calls for 40,000 more US troops to Afghanistan.
- New healthcare guidelines announced today suggest that no medical procedure of any kind are warranted for persons over the age of 65. In a government study, death rates did not significantly increase for those who had no government healthcare compared to those who did. The HHS Secretary predicted the findings could save trillions of dollars in wasted taxpayer money.
- The unemployment rate decreased slightly this month to 23.1%. The Obama White House welcomed the news and said that it was further evidence of a recovering economy.
- White House records now show that the Obama administration has created 311 million new jobs since the passage of its Stimulus Program. This amounts to 5 million jobs more than the entire population of the country.
- A school district in Colorado was told to up the number of gay students in its classrooms or see an end to all government funded programs, including school lunches. The US Justice Department has made the district a test case for enforcing the new version of the Hate Crimes Bill.
- The Fox News Channel was issued a warning from the FCC for publicly revealing the religion of the killer in the Boyton Beach bombing episode. FCC Chairman Mohmmed Isamaren reminded the media that “bigotry of any kind is intolerable in our society and religious bigotry is the most reprehensible of all.”
- Sarah Palin finished the 390th day of her book tour signing copies for 15,000 fans in Kokomo, Indiana, who waited hours in the rain for a chance to meet the former governor.
- Brett Farve announced his retirement from the NFL.
- NBC announced that the new Jay Leno Show will debut next week in the 03:00 EST time slot.
- Charlie Weis, head coach of the Notre Dame fighting Irish, denied rumors that his 4-8 record had put his job in jeopardy. Said Weis, “I think people can see that we could easily have won six of those games and then we would be sitting here with a record of 10-2. But 4-8 is not good enough. It is not good enough for Notre Dame and it is not good enough for me.”
