The European Union wants to abolish the barmy laws that many feel give it a bad name.

Legislation on the length of condoms, the curvature of bananas or the position of the driver’s seat on a tractor have all attracted widespread ridicule.

Brussels also regulates on the roundness of apples, the length of cucumbers and the colour of shallots.

In another case, lawmakers sought to make distinctions between feta cheese from “a cheese that has ripened in a brine”.

Bureaucratic absurdity is reckoned to be one the main reasons why some people oppose a United Europe. Today only 52% of citizens are in favour of the European Union.

Now the European Commission, the EU’s executive body, has appointed a special consultant to fight and abolish these sorts of laws.

It is not an easy task. The EC has already tried to annul 26 of 36 regulations on cabbage, melon and cucumbers, but half a dozen countries have flatly refused to do so. Germany, France, Hungary, Italy and Spain were afraid of consumer dissatisfaction with the low quality of the food.

The EC itself faces an increased number of proposed laws from its own employees.

One of the most infamous cases of an apparently crazy law was over a Berlin chairlift that didn’t exist.

Eight years ago the German capital passed thorough legislation regarding the chairlifts, even though it didn’t have any. It happened because of Brussels’ bid to unite all chairlift legislation throughout the continent.

Berlin objected, explaining that the chairlift law is useless without a place to climb: there are no hills or mountains in Berlin.

But Brussels persisted, threatening a €791,000 fine – and Berlin adopted Bavarian chairlift law.