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No sex please, we’re communists

Published: 12 January, 2009, 16:21
Edited: 23 October, 2010, 15:23

TAGS: Thrills&Spills


Creating your own search engine may seem a strange project for a political organisation, but for the communists of St. Petersburg it’s the way to promote red ideals and fight capitalism.

The first search website of its kind is named after the German communist theorist Friedrich Engels. The ‘wise and rugged Engels’ will become an alternative to Google, Yahoo, and of course Russia’s most popular search engine, Yandex, which are ‘infested with consumerism, the sex industry and mindless mass culture’, the would-be creators say.

“Engels search will ban pornography, dating sites and obscenity. Engels will be the site for workers, farmers and intelligentsia,” foresee the enthusiastic visionaries. “Friedrich Engels’ kind face with a cunning wink – the logo of the raising top search website – will come to every country cottage, every mountain village, every nomad’s tent, every prison cell of a freedom fighter!”

Vladimir Kremlev for RT
Vladimir Kremlev for RT. Click to enlarge

In addition to topless photos and commercials Engels search will block information about people like the outgoing US President George W. Bush, the prominent leader of anti-Bolshevik forces during the Russian civil war, Aleksandr Kolchak (who also is the character of a recent Russian blockbuster ‘Admiral’) or the late President Boris Yeltsin. St. Petersburg communists believe people would rather read about Vladimir Lenin or Hugo Chavez and say their approach will win popularity for the new website.

Users will never be able to find the cities of Ekaterinburg and Samara in Engels, simply because shortly after the downfall of the Soviet Union they reverted to these original names, after being named after Soviet heroes and called Sverdlovsk and Kuybishev respectively during Soviet times. The fact that they subsequently reverted to their original names is blamed on ‘the haters of every thing Soviet’.

Despite this dubious approach to searching for information, the organisation hopes Engels will eventually beat its main rival Yandex, which the new engine creators believe is involved in a conspiracy against the international communist movement.

Apparently Yandex was not randomly chosen by the communists for a web attack. A spin firm in St. Petersburg recently suggested changing the name of the city’s Engels Street to Yandex Street on the grounds that the website did more for Russia then the iconic philosopher. The proposition has seen little support so far, but it hasn’t stopped the communists from preparing their retaliation to the PR stunt.

Now they are trying to raise funds to finance the development of Engels search.

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frank valente October 23, 2010, 15:00
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.The biggest problem I find with Communism is that it can't seem to operate without suppressing human rights. If a system of government cannot operate without allowing the people to have full freedom of expression , if adult human beings are not allowed to make up their own minds as to what information they wish to view then they are living with an intrusive and abusive government no better than living under the thumb of the Czar. What would work is a system that is a combination of socialism and capitalism where business is regulated to serve the people and the accumulation of wealth is limited to a set figure which includes all assets, excess profits would then be pumped back into the system to support social programs. However, in order to sustain incentive and creativity the limit of wealth accumulation must be quite high. I think a figure of $20,000,000 would work. The other thing would be that people would not be allowed to spread the excess wealth they have to friends or family members. Also the $20,000,000 limit would apply to a "household" or family and people would not have to be legally married to be considered a house hold. The system would have absolutely no "loop holes". Communism , as practiced, is not a benign form of government, it is repressive and cruel and does not serve the people's best interests. It is an archaic relic of the past that should be buried and forgotten.