With communists constantly losing their political relevance, they seem to be gaining popularity as an inexhaustible source of fun and humour. Model and actress Olga Kurylenko, who plays the lead Bond girl in the latest Bond film “Quantum of Solace&r

“How low you’ve fallen – becoming James Bond’s new lover, you prodigal daughter of suffering Ukraine!” That was the main message of an open letter published on the communist website of St. Petersburg and the Leningrad region.

“You agreed to be the girlfriend of a man who during his long career has killed hundreds of Soviet people, Cubans, Vietnamese, Koreans, Chinese and Nicaraguans,” wrote a blogger, scolding the “traitress”.

Wringing their hands, they heartrendingly declare in language worthy of heroes of ancient Greek tragedies: “For years Bond was destroying the Soviet Union – the country where you were born. It was he who blew up Soviet factories and poured poison into our wells.”

The authors sum up the depth of the moral degradation of the poor girl who now stands little chance – if any at all – of a bright future: “You started by posing half-naked in glossy magazines and gradually found yourself in the arms of an American spy.” They should probably be reminded that James Bond is an agent of the British Secret Intelligence Service (SIS, more commonly known as MI6) but they don’t let any need for accuracy stand in their way.

First and foremost among her sins, however, and what seems to cause them the most anguish, is the fact that she gives her lover a bottle of gorilka (Ukrainian moonshine) as a gift.

We can only assume that on reading these lines Olga Kurylenko must have burst into tears and fallen on her knees begging for forgiveness. But she can atone for her guilt, say the authors generously, and they set her a task of redemption accordingly. “You must capture and bring the latest James Bond, actor Daniel Craig, to Russia and hand him in to our law enforcement bodies. Olga, you still have a long life to live. Just think about it.”

For the record, Daniel Craig was in Moscow two weeks ago to promote the latest Bond movie. He was accompanied by Olga Kurylenko.