One of the 3,500 plaintiffs named in a copyright suit filed by a California porno company is having an easier time than others explaining to his wife that he wasn’t the one downloading Tokyo Cougar Creampies.

After all, John Doe #2,057 is legally blind.

Even still, the man’s Internet Service Provider has issued him a letter explaining that Imperial Enterprises, Inc. of California has filed a federal claim for his illegal downloading of their copyrighted skin flick. They specifically state in the suit that, at exactly 6:03 a.m. on the morning of January 27, the man signed online and began downloading the film.

"To be honest, it's a little ridiculous," he tells Seattle Weekly. "My movie-watching ability is nonexistent.”

Doe 2,057 has only 1/100th of the vision that a person with normal eyesight does. This makes watching any film impossible, including, yes, Tokyo Cougar Creampies. While he could have downloaded the cinematic masterpiece purely for auditory pleasure, he swears that it was someone else that stole the film. Doe believes they accessed his WiFi network — which he admits wasn’t password protected — and downloaded the film without his knowledge.

"I didn't have time to set up the wireless network in my old apartment," the man tells Seattle Weekly. "I was working 18-hour days so I just told my wife to go to Best Buy and pick up a router. She installed it, hit next, next, finish and boom, that was it.” He says he was too busy to actually set-up a password for the network, something that isn’t at all that uncommon. That alleged neglect however, could cost him thousands.

Even though he swears he didn’t do it, the man says he will probably end up paying the fines, as hiring an attorney would just make things costlier. He estimates that going before a judge after obtaining a lawyer would cost him upwards of a hundred thousand dollars, all to prove his innocence.

“At the end of the day, I’ll probably settle and pay the fee to make this go away,” he says.

“We lived in a very upscale building, there was no riffraff,” he adds. “We just assumed we didn't have anything to worry about."

In the end, just another lesson learned in the world of online piracy. When you assume you make an ass out of you, me and the hard working actresses of Tokyo Cougar Creampies, who, yet again, have gone unrewarded for their laborious work. According to the packaging of the product, “these shy but horny Japanese cougars are begging to be pleasured,” so at least John Doe can do is see to it that they are properly compensated. And next time, put up a password.