Not a candy bar: Kiwi cops set to identify serial pool pooper

7 Feb, 2016 11:43 / Updated 9 years ago

Staff members of a community pool in New Zealand are on the lookout for a sick, twisted, cold-blooded, and heartless individual who possibly likes the film “Caddyshack”.

The serial pool pooper who ‘dropped it like it was hot’ three times in one week last month is set to be identified thanks to CCTV footage.

A post-traumatic stress counselor and vomit bucket were standing by for those who had to view the video.

Taking the latter part of the euphemism ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’ way too literally, the brown bandit's first ‘delivery’ was found on the side of the pool, followed the next day by some in the pool, and finally a “large amount” in the deep end of the pool.

It is not known if someone mistook any of the piles as a chocolate bar.

Stephanie Macauley, president of the swimming club, told the NZ Herald: "I think the third one is deliberate because of where it was and purely by the amount. It's annoying. There is no need for it."

Middlemarch swimming pool was forced to close for a much needed 36-hour cleaning by Dunedin City Council’s version of Carl Spackler before reopening last Monday.

If and when the serial pooper is identified, they will be barred from the pool, but not face criminal charges, leaving them free to wander the world and strike again.

And speaking of "Caddyshack"...

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