‘Woke’ Monopoly? Women given more money than men in new iteration of classic board game

Thousands of years of male oppression are close to being erased, thanks to a new version of the iconic board game Monopoly. In ‘Ms. Monopoly’, female players are awarded more money than men. Checkmate, patriarchy?

Usually associated with uneasy family gatherings which quickly deteriorate into heated arguments and shouting matches, the popular real estate mogul simulator has reinvented itself as a path to female empowerment.

In Ms. Monopoly, the latest iteration of the board game, women will collect 240 Monopoly bucks when they pass “go,” while oppressive male players will collect the usual 200. Critics might think that the new rule is unfair and transparently sexist, but Hasbro, the game’s creator, strongly disagrees.

"It’s a fun new take on the game that creates a world where women have an advantage often enjoyed by men," the company said in a statement. "But don't worry, if men play their cards right, they can make more money too."

There’s even more patriarchy-slaying surprises awaiting those woke enough to sit down for a game of Ms. Monopoly: Instead of buying and selling property, which is the whole point of the original game, players will invest in inventions created by women – things like Wi-Fi and chocolate chip cookies.

In a video promoting the new game, female entrepreneurs react to the news that they had been sent real, not-Monopoly money by Hasbro to develop their business ventures.

The visionary board game is just one small step towards full gender equality, of course. In another recent victory for the Woke Army, feminists successfully petitioned to have ring girls at a boxing match in Bendigo, Victoria removed – a necessary precaution to prevent adults from being objectified. The women were replaced by “fight progress managers” – colloquially known as middle-aged white guys.

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