Coronation party site defaced with giant penis

Vandals in the British city of Bath have mowed an enormous phallic image into the normally pristine lawn in front of the iconic Royal Crescent. The lawn is due to host a picnic party on Saturday to celebrate the coronation of King Charles III.

Residents of the exclusive 18th-Century street awoke on Thursday morning to find the monstrous member mowed into their lawn, Somerset Live reported. Although lacking in detail, the phallic feature is finely cut, symmetrical, and points directly at the famous Georgian facade of the street’s terraced houses.

The identity of the cocky culprits is a mystery, and residents of the city are “bemused as to who is responsible,” the local outlet reported. 

One local investigated the towering todger and speculated that it may not have been mown at all, and was instead drawn with “carefully applied herbicide.”

Whatever the artists’ method, the penis appeared two days before the lawn was set to host a Georgian-themed coronation party. According to a flyer for the event, visitors are invited to “celebrate the 300th anniversary of the Georgian era,” and can “decorate your own regal crown, watch demonstrations on royal fashion and visit the Georgian Cook cooking up delicious recipes in the kitchen.’’

It is unclear whether Bath and North East Somerset Council will attempt to earse the phallus before the weekend’s celebrations.

Charles III will be crowned at Westminster Abbey on Saturday, although he has ruled since his mother, Queen Elizabeth II, died last September.