Selling soles: $3k for a pair of Nike ‘Jesus Shoes’ with holy water was meant to be satire, but they were all snapped up

Designers in Brooklyn have pumped holy water into Nike sneakers, called them ‘Jesus Shoes’, and, oh my God (sorry!), people are actually stumping up $3,000 for a pair.

If Hans Christian Andersen’s allegorical tale the Emperor’s New Clothes was real then you can guarantee these are the shoes the emperor would be proudly accessorising with his birthday suit.

The shoes contain blessed water from the River Jordan in the soles so you can walk on water like JC himself, they’re made with “100% frankincense wool,” which apparently is a thing, (although I thought they’d just redesigned a pair of Nike Air Max 97s) and there’s a crucifix on the laces.

They look a lot like a normal pair of sneakers, but they’re not. They’re actually normal sneakers which have been messed around with and then sold for a price that would have even the Catholic Church blushing with embarrassment. 

Why in Jesus’ name did the company MSCHF do this at all? They claim they were actually trolling what’s called “collab culture” and gave the example of a collaboration which saw Adidas making shoes with the name of an iced tea company on the side.

So, this is an attempt at satire, with Daniel Greenberg, the head of commerce at MSCHF, saying “we wanted to make a statement about how absurd collab culture has gotten.”

Which is a noble aim, a valuable comment on modern society and capitalism, or at least it would be if they didn’t then go and start selling them for $3,000 each! The only people being trolled here are the idiots buying them, and yes, they did sell out in minutes.

The stunt has ended up being a satire on fashion victims and the power of capitalism to find someone who will buy literally anything. It’s not the first time a design company has managed to find a way to monetise irony, but at $3k, I’m not sure where the irony is anymore. I suppose the irony is that an attempt at showing how collaboration culture has gone too far, has gone too far.

Greenberg says MSCHF wondered what “would a collab with Jesus Christ look like?” My answer to him would be, it would look like the last few thousand years of history, religions are the kings of the collaboration, and to be fair to him, the price tag is often much bigger.

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