Flunk or pass? Joe Biden’s 2021 report card is in

Starting his freshman year in the White House amid high hopes and expectations, Joe’s not only failed to produce the desired results, he is at risk of flunking out of Washington, DC, altogether.

Dear voters, the following is a compilation of Joe Biden’s grades for 2021, broken down into subjects, followed by my comments. The expected grade and actual grade is also included.

ECONOMICS 101

Expected Grade: B

Actual Grade: D

Comment: Joe has been around Washington, DC, long enough to know the axiom of political success, summed up succinctly by James Carville, Bill Clinton’s 1992 presidential campaign strategist: “It’s the economy, stupid.” I regret to say that Joe must have been dozing off during more than one of these critical lectures.

Your prodigal son, despite so much early promise, has already ‘outperformed’ his peer Jimmy Carter (‘Class of 1977’) for having the lowest net economic rating of any leader at this point through their first term. Carter's economic approval rating of -8 was the lowest before Joe relieved Jimmy of his long-standing record with an outstanding -13. As you may guess, this was no small feat, considering that Carter was driven out of the White House by the Four Horsemen of Political Disaster, namely double-digit inflation, high interest rates, a gas shortage and sluggish economic growth. Sound familiar? It’s not a good sign that US consumers are already feeling the pinch of Biden’s peculiar brand of economic policy.

Amid a shortage of supplies, the price of bread has increased by around 80% in parts of the US. This applies to other sectors of the US economy as well, where shortages on the store shelves amid breaks in the supply chain are becoming worrisome trends, especially with a so-called ‘dark winter’ descending slowly upon us. We can only hope that Joe starts to take his economic lessons much more seriously in the near future, for the sake of all Americans. 

LOGIC 101

Expected Grade: C

Actual Grade: D-

Comment: Inexplicably, Joe has shown a marked tendency for discontinuing some of the more popular policies of his predecessor, that notorious class clown, Donald J. Trump, and under the most bewildering explanations.

Exhibit One: the 1,200-mile Keystone XL Pipeline, which would have delivered 830,000 barrels of crude oil daily from Alberta, Canada to US refineries in the Gulf Coast. That ambitious project, handed to Biden on a silver platter by Orange Man, was set to generate tens of thousands of high-paying oil sector jobs. Additionally, it would have cured Uncle Sam of his debilitating Middle East oil addiction, not to mention all of the military adventures that complicated relationship has spawned over the decades. Yet Biden, in one of his first buffoonish acts as president, canceled the project with one arbitrary stroke of his executive pen. The primary reason given for this rash decision was ‘climate change,’ which is odd considering that the US still depends on OPEC imports via lengthy cargo transfers across the ocean that spew massive amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.

Joe had a golden opportunity to give Americans a reliable and local source of energy, with no threat to US military lives abroad, yet he abysmally failed to deliver. He still has three years to correct that gross mistake and reverse yet another failing grade.

MUSIC

Expected Grade: C

Actual Grade: A+

Comment: Thankfully, all is not lost as far as Joe’s scholastic record and future prospects are concerned. The sprightly lad has surprised everyone here in the US Capitol by showing remarkable aptitude in a field where only the very best excel. Yes, America’s got talent in Joe Biden! Your gifted progeny has single-handedly provided the soul inspiration for one of biggest pop solo hits of the year, debuting at number 45 on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart for the week ending October 30, 2021. Admittedly, the lyrics are a bit more profane than his custodians would prefer, and the title may trigger some controversy among the cancel cult, but make no mistake Joe has got the credentials to take the music industry by storm. Let’s go, Brandon!

LAW & ORDER

Expected Grade: D

Actual Grade: F

Comment: Regrettably, Joe is showing far less aptitude in criminal theory than he has displayed in the field of entertainment. Perhaps this speaks to his artistic and freedom-loving side, we just don’t know. Yet we can say with certainty that Joe has fallen in with the wrong crowd in Washington DC of late. A group of young radical progressives in his class, who go by the name of The Squad, have left an indelible impression on his tender mind. Thanks to their dubious influence, Joe has been led to believe that every single problem in the country is easily reducible to something known as ‘systemic racism.’

In this narrow and stunted worldview, minorities are at the mercy of deplorable ‘white supremacist’ troglodytes (otherwise known as ‘Trump supporters’), for whom there exists an entire anthology inside of the US educational system known as ‘critical race theory.’ Ironically, despite sponsoring the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994 as a way to halt criminal behavior, Joe has embraced these half-baked ideas. This has translated into less ‘racist’ police officers, who are being relieved of their duties by social workers armed with name badges, while members of ‘smash-and-grab’ flash mobs loot and steal with impunity, knowing that liberal, Soros-subsidized District Attorneys won’t prosecute them. This is all part of the ‘new normal,’ psychotic as it is. As a result, murder rates are off the charts; a dozen US cities – all of them run by Democrats, by the way – have just broken records for annual homicides. Joe should understand better than anyone that going soft on crime is no way to graduate top of the class. In fact, it puts you dead last, and with midterms fast approaching, that should be of some concern.  

FOREIGN RELATIONS

Expected Grade: C

Actual Grade: F

Comment: Just one year into Joe’s tenure, Washington’s position on the global stage could not look more precarious. Instead of attempting to cultivate relations with at least one of the world’s major military powers, either Russia or China, the Biden White House has moved to alienate both at the same time. Call it a hunch, but Sun-Tzu, the Chinese military strategist, would probably not approve.

Read more

‘Let’s go Brandon’ is more than just a funny anti-Biden meme. It empowers Americans against the ‘fact-checkers’ and censors

With regards to Russia, Biden has ratcheted up tensions in Ukraine, hosting large-scale military exercises, while selling Kiev state-of-the-art military supplies. This, Moscow fears, may tempt Ukraine’s leaders into committing some ill-advised actions in the Donbas, where civil war conditions have been simmering since 2014.

At the same time, Joe has ignored China’s commitment to a ‘one China’ principle; a national project that Beijing passionately believes Taiwan is part of. Oblivious to China’s concerns, however, Biden invited Taiwan to the so-called Summit for Democracy event this month. These diplomatic missteps have had the natural effect of bringing Moscow and Beijing into a more consolidated relationship – dare we call it a nascent military partnership? – and one that is primarily focused on the looming threat of US hyperpower.

The nagging feeling that Joe is clueless when it comes to foreign affairs was boosted by America’s disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan following a 20-year war that ended on August 30, 2021. Biden, 79, the US Commander-in-Chief, committed the epic mistake of pulling his military out of Dodge first, thereby leaving hundreds of Americans and US allies searching for flights out of Kabul as the Taliban was fast advancing on the Afghan capital. Although the US media was critical of Biden's uber-blunder, it was nothing compared to what the uproar would have been had Donald Trump, for example, committed such a tactical error. The United States can ill-afford any more such disastrous moves on the part of its leader.

HEALTH

Expected: A+

Actual Grade: D

Comment: The primary reason for Joe falling so short of his expectations in this particular subject has to do with both illegal immigration and the Covid pandemic, which have morphed to create a wicked cocktail. Biden rose to power largely on his promise to defeat the Covid pandemic and return America to some semblance of sanity. Since we are talking about the Democratic Party, however, and its inherent attraction to authoritarian rule, it should come as no surprise that he is failing miserably on the sanity front. As the rules (masks, mandatory vaccines, segregation) are being mandated across the land, the White House has left the US-Mexico border wide open, not only to illegal migrants from south of the Rio Grande, but to any deadly viruses hoping to enter the US unhindered. Regardless of a person’s attitude towards the poor and destitute, even the most dyed-in-the-wool liberal would have to admit that allowing total strangers into one’s homeland, and then transporting them around the country at the peak of pandemic without any stringent screenings, is not the work of a genius. Yet that is exactly what Joe Biden, together with his border czarina, Kamala Harris, has been doing. Offering the freedom of movement to lawbreakers, while shutting down your healthy population, shows all of the hallmarks of a president who hasn’t the slightest idea what he is doing.

Principal’s comments

Joe has sadly flunked with flying colors the first year of his tenure; we can only hope that he’s learned some hard lessons over the course of these 365 days and can still deliver the United States a presidency it truly deserves. Must do better, Joe!