With New Year’s Eve just around the corner, the Russian Defense Ministry showed its softer side by releasing a humorous 2019 calendar filled with lighthearted puns and double entendres.
The Russian military is known for making jokes on occasion and inventing some truly colorful names for its war machinery. The newly-released 2019 calendar seemingly sticks with that trend, giving a new spin on the holiday spirit.
Each month contains a picture of military hardware or troops, laced with tongue-in-cheek comments. Spies take note, you can even find out what Kremlin’s ‘secret weapon’ is.
January: ‘Delivering cargo to any part of the world’.
The first month of the year features a mobile launcher equipped with a Topol-M ICBM, part of the nation’s nuclear deterrent.
February: ‘Russian bears don’t hibernate in winter’.
This month is illustrated with a Tu-95 strategic bomber, and ‘Bear’ is its NATO reporting name.
March: ‘Locking eyes is Kremlin’s secret weapon’.
Female cadets often captivate spectators as they began to appear more frequently in military parades and other army-themed events.
April: ‘Russian snowdrops’.
The soldiers pictured here may be special troopers who are trained to conduct operations in various weather conditions.
May: ‘Preparing for a 2033 Victory Day parade’.
Victory Day, marking the defeat of Nazi Germany, is celebrated on May 9. It is one of Russia’s most important holidays and is marked by a grandiose parade in Red Square.
June: ‘Sound check before concert’.
The description could mean that the soldiers are about to head for a mission and are checking their equipment.
July: ‘Tough Russian electric waffle maker’.
Underground silos are used to store ballistic missiles and, from certain angles, can resemble ordinary kitchen waffle makers.
August: ‘Russian aces can make even crocodiles fly’.
The iconic Mi-24 gunships are nicknamed ‘crocodiles’ and due to heavy armor are also called ‘flying tanks.’
September: ‘Some women will blow you away’.
About 44,500 women are currently serving in the Russian Armed Forces. Defense Minister Sergey Shoigu recently referred to the female soldiers and officers as “charming army.”
October: ‘An advanced PC user’.
In Russian, PC is abbreviated to PK, which also stands for Kalashnikov machine gun.
November: ‘Cornet isn’t a rank, cornet is a calling.’
9M133 Kornet is a man-portable anti-tank guided missile.
December: ‘New Year’s lights and fireworks.’
The last month bears no actual military hardware, merely giving a picturesque shot of tracers and missile trails over a field.
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