Beckham, boobs and Ronaldo’s ‘c**k’: 10 memorable lines from English football’s most quotable boss
English football manager and pundit Ian Holloway has a well-deserved reputation for being one of the more quirky and quotable figures in the game. RT Sport looks back at 10 of his most memorable moments on the mic.
Holloway on booking players for taking their shirts off to celebrate...
“I don’t see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal. They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too.
“I suppose that's one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course, they’d have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin.”
Holloway on the possibility of David Beckham receiving a knighthood...
“Sir David Beckham? You’re having a laugh! He’s just a good footballer with a famous bird. Can you imagine if Posh was called Lady Beckham? We’d never hear the end of it!”
Holloway on criticism of his use of defensive midfielders...
“It’s all very well having a great pianist playing, but it’s no good if you haven’t got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.”
Holloway on Joey Barton showing his backside to fans during a game...
“It was a bit cheeky, wasn’t it? But I don’t think it was that bad. It would have been worse if he’d turned round and dropped the front of his shorts instead.
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a couple of butt cheeks, personally. If anybody’s offended by seeing a backside, get real. Maybe they’re just jealous that he’s got a real nice tight one, with no cellulite or anything.”
Holloway on wanting his team to be more direct in attack...
“If you're a burglar, it's no good poncing about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that, obviously, it's just an analogy!”
Holloway on QPR's perilous financial situation at the time...
“It’s like the film 'Men in Black'. I walk around in a black suit, white shirt and black tie where I’ve had to flash my white light every now and again to erase some memories. But I feel we’ve got hold of the galaxy now. It’s in our hands.”
Holloway on earning promotion...
“Every dog has its day, and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark!”
Holloway on his bad luck...
“Right now, everything is going wrong for me. If I fell in a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb!”
Holloway on Cristiano Ronaldo...
“He’s six-foot something, fit as a flea, good looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him!
“Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster – that would make us all feel better. Having said that, my missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his c**k’s massive!”
And the quote that made Holloway famous in England…
“To put it in gentleman’s terms, if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best.
“Our performance today would have been not the best-looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi.
“She wasn’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home, but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee.”
And it continues...
Holloway hit the headlines with another quote this week after suggesting the introduction of VAR and the change to the handball law in the Premier League was in some way linked with Great Britain's place in the European Union.
Also on rt.com EU must be joking: How English football manager Ian Holloway lost the plot in VAR Brexit rantBut even that comment would struggle to make the list above, with Holloway's quotes a part of football folklore in England.
