A spurious pandemic that caused suffering to many the world over is spreading - that's right, the 'woke' screen celebrities have infected sports stars with their condescending virtue-signaling to the poor from their mansions.
The infectious smugness emanating from Hollywood’s gaggle of where-do-I-know-that-face-from guardian angels has yet again infected the internet.
The mega-rich self-righteous rabble - which included Natalie Portman and Sarah Silverman - released a clip taking it in turns to murder John Lennon’s 1971 hit ‘Imagine’ wearing woke, smug, saviour-of-the-world smiles.
The instigator of the ghastly cover, Israeli actress and faux-activist Gal Gadot of Wonder Woman fame, later upped the oblivious ante by tweeting a photo of herself captioned “staying at home is your superpower” from her walk-in wardrobe flush with designer gear.
Meanwhile, in Italy and Spain, the working classes cram onto balconies in high-rise apartments with singing from building to building their only way of communication and would probably enjoy their superpower a lot more if they also had Gadot’s disposable living space or a fraction of her reported $10 million net worth.
Gadot’s purportedly ‘powerful and pure’ but ultimately tone deaf and out-of-touch video has unfortunately spread just like the virus it attempts to combat and the inspiration passed on to another set of superstars with arguably even less self awareness than the award-season social justice warriors: footballers.
The world’s most-watched athletes have joined the quarantine craze-setting movement and invented the ‘10-touch challenge’ in which major stars such as Lionel Messi challenge their equally economically-comfortable friends to keep a toilet roll in the air with 10 keepy-uppy touches.
It’s easy work for football’s cream of the crop, both the nifty footwork and getting hold of the most valuable commodity in stores right now - or rather not in stores as the COVID19 pandemic has triggered a period of panic buying and hoarding among the poorer classes who are fretting over a future where they might not be able to afford the rocketing prices of what was an everyday essential, but affordable, product.
It might have been amusing if it didn't all represent a figurative kick in the balls for all those kicking around in their tiny living spaces and taking care of vulnerable relatives, being dictated to by the mega-rich literally kicking toilet rolls around in their plush palaces with ample amenities. Quarantine doesn't seem half bad for the other half.
Messi’s call to complete the challenge came from former Barca teammate Xavi, who produced an even more cringe-inducing clip of the hideously named ‘na na na challenge’ which resembles one of the ridiculous coronavirus-compromised handshakes where couples knock ankles - in the literal, less fun sense - in a dance move.
That comes on top of the players flooding Instagram with posts from their swanky personal gyms with their influencer-model girlfriends dancing and working out together in not-so-self-isolation while relationships worldwide crumble under the stress of coping in crisis and quarantine and couples are stranded and separated by travel and border restrictions.
It may seem cynical but the world is currently facing a crisis never before known in living memory, and the last thing the cramped, squalid masses need is to be 'saved' by a smug gang of elite eco-warriors swanning around in pristine multi-room mansions or acre-long backyards ordering the world to stay home.
Hopefully in the coming weeks a cure will be found for COVID19, subsequently and simultaneously ridding the world of a curious condition of oblivious wokeness.