Feminists infuriated but gay gamers rejoice at Dua Lipa as FIFA’s cheap attempt to sell sex takes unexpected turn

FIFA's attempt to sell sex to fans with their inclusion of pop princess Dua Lipa has infuriated feminists but sent gay gamers into delirium

‘One Kiss’ diva Dua was included in the annually-released sporting game as a ‘featured player’ in a thinly-veiled attempt to arouse interest among footy-mad joystick jockeys in more ways than one, despite her not being in possession of even the most tenuous link to sport.

Her inclusion unsurprisingly triggered the male-dominated gaming community - who perhaps react with slightly more fervour at actually seeing a woman, whether real or virtual - to clamber over themselves to grab a copy when it was released last month by gaming giants EA Sports.

The 25-year-old brunette was part of a bunch of celebrities added to the game in wildcard capacities, alongside former England captain and football legend David Beckham, NBA star Joel Embiid, Formula One champion Lewis Hamilton, and Hamilton’s Australian F1 rival Daniel Ricciardo, all of whom have a sporting background and are available to be deployed as part of any team within the game.

Part one of the plan to prick the ears of the FIFA-playing fraternity was accomplished, but then came the weirdest of twists to the plot: feminists footy fans were perplexingly incensed by her inclusion, demonstrating again the Sisyphean task of pleasing their every whim; conversely, Lipa's cult gay following rejoiced. 

Firstly, the novel inclusion of a female superstar in the world of football still did nothing to quieten female football fans, who decided to ignore the fact that London-born Lipa had become the first-ever woman to be part of the game’s celebrity squad, and instead picked apart FIFA allegedly favoring young sex symbols over their heroes on the pitch.

Instead of congratulating a successful sister on literally breaking through to the patriarchal playing field, feminists instead bemoaned the lack of women’s domestic teams in the latest instalment of the mega-popular footy game.

There is some appeasement for feminist FIFA-lovers as international teams are available, meaning that should it take your fancy, you could play as virtue-signaller supreme Megan Rapinoe and co of the United States Women’s National Team, but not even the presence of self-appointed saint of soccer social justice Rapinoe was enough.

There were further gripes from girl gamers, who accused FIFA of giving priority to the pretty pop star by way of special treatment for providing her character with a full face scan to perfect her likeness, while other female players are allegedly denied such attention to detail.

This was despite one of the sport's brightest up and coming stars, Manchester United's Mason Greenwood being deprived of the same luxuries and looking nothing like his real-life self.

While feminists where inexplicably getting their shin guards in a twist about Lipa's likeness, the gaming community welcomed a new wave of gay fans who suddenly developed an unusual interest in online football gaming.

Thanks to her status as gay icon, the interest of Lipa’s LGBT following was piqued by her mere featuring in the game, and led to a string of meme's from her followers who professed their newfound love for FIFA.

But the practicalities of allowing one female player to play in a side with 10 other men apparently wasn't thought through by EA Sports bosses, who inadvertently made Lipa the target to be groped by unwitting teammates, who regularly give their fellow players a pat on the chest during goal celebrations, setting the stage for some awkward post-goal screenshots.

So FIFA's 'sex sells' policy seems to have struck the middle ground of having been a hit with one crowd but also hit a snag with others: while pleasing loyal gamers, its attempt to appease female players has fallen flat on its face, instead unintentionally offending most of its female consumers and becoming a source of amusement for an entirely new audience.

This bizarre turn of events will be something to keep in mind the next time the game launches a cheap shot to target that lucrative overlap between feminist endeavours and male desires, and a reminder of the dangers of trying to please everybody.