Theresa May will not hold her cabinet meeting in Downing Street today. It’s lucky really, because the ministers that would sit at the table are sinking under a pile of disasters so big, some are speculating that it could bring down the government.
The meeting was set to be the most awkward she has faced as cracks in the cabinet morphed into crevices. It is not clear why the meeting will not go ahead, but Downing Street insisted it was standard practice to change the timings.
When the prime minister finally does sit down with her most trusted ministers, here’s just a taste of what she has to deal with. You’ll notice the word Brexit, the biggest upheaval facing Britain in literally decades isn’t mentioned once.
1. Dirty Damo?
It should be all hands on deck to help the scandal-hit government this week, instead, the PM will be hoping her allies keep their hands to themselves.
May’s deputy Damien Green is fighting for his political future after allegations he kept “extreme” pornography on a Commons computer.
Green was also named in the Parliament sex scandal list – dubbed the dirty dossier – where it claims he has been ‘handsy’ and inappropriate.
The MP for Ashford is facing calls to stand down while an investigation takes place.
May is being grilled over how much she knew about the scandal.
2. Boris Johnson’s ‘journalist’
Blundering Boris just cannot seem to help himself. Usually, his embarrassing gaffes and jaw-dropping ‘jokes’ only serve to make him, the cabinet, the PM – and the rest of the UK for that matter – look like idiots. This time, a woman’s life is on the line.
Yep, Johnson may have landed British mum Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe five extra years in jail in Iran – after claiming she was carrying out journalism training when she was arrested.
The crux of the Brit’s defense is she was on holiday – yet she is in jail because of accusations of “propaganda against the regime.”
Johnson, who is very much enjoying his liberty in London today, is being urged to make a statement in Parliament, so he can be addressed by MPs.
The PM may want to put a stop to that. He’s said enough already.
3. The cheek of the chancellor
It’s bad enough going to work when your overbearing boss is giving you hell. Imagine then, if you were getting it in the neck from a subordinate.
Theresa May and Philip Hammond are reportedly struggling to be in the same room as the Chancellor of the Exchequer talks to his boss “like a child” the Sun reports.
The pair has fallen out over the government’s housing strategy and, apparently, neither will back down.
The chancellor and May have hit rock bottom according to aides, who say spreadsheet Phil’s contempt is growing by the day.
Staff in Downing Street claim they were shocked at the way Hammond spoke to the PM, but that she barely reacted.
4. Defence-less over chief whip appointment
Imagine having a hero like Tobias Ellwood as a serving MP –watching him launch into action during the Westminster terror attack – and then passing him over for the role of defence secretary.
May’s biggest blunder of the month was apparently allowing a bullish chief whip to force his way into one of the big offices of state.
Gavin Williamson, with zero military experience, is taking on one of the most powerful portfolios in government because … well, nobody really knows why.
The young MP for South Staffordshire – nicknamed the ‘baby-faced assassin’ (again, no idea why) – slid into the opening after Sir Michael Fallon was named in the sex scandal dossier.
As if she needed to make another unpopular decision, May allowed the civvie MP to slot straight into the role.
The ‘inner circle’ has been infiltrated. No wonder T-May wants a day off.
5. Andrea Leadsom
There’s something to be said for having another woman on your side, unless it’s Andrea Leadsom.
Leadsom, who previously made comments about May’s inability to have children with her husband, has landed in hot water again.
So much for sisterhood.
The MP for South Northamptonshire and Leader of the House of Commons was allegedly informed about a rape and did nothing about it.
A senior Conservative was reported for an allegation of rape by a younger activist, yet no action was seen to be taken.
David Natzler, the clerk of the House of Commons was reportedly made aware, as was Leadsom, but the woman who also went to the police says she heard nothing.
“I never received contact from either of them,” she said.
“The parliamentary authorities never followed it up with me either. I heard nothing."
6. A Priti ugly fallout
It turns out Leadsom is not the only woman on the Downing Street naughty list.
Secretary of State for International Development Priti Patel has been found to have held meetings with influencers in the Middle East without telling the PM (or the Foreign Office). Ouch.
Patel, the Witham MP held 12 – no really, 12 – undisclosed meetings while on holiday.
The MP and cabinet minister even met with Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu – a May ally in the Middle East.
Patel was in further trouble when she implied Boris Johnson knew about the meetings.
Now, it has emerged the minister sought an investigation into whether public money could support humanitarian operations (by the Israeli military) in occupied parts of the Golan Heights, after the meetings.
The UK doesn’t even recognize Israel’s permanent presence in the area.