He’s back! Boris puts alleged leaker and warmonger Williamson in charge of UK schools

There’s widespread disbelief that Boris Johnson is now the UK’s prime minister, but have you noticed that Gavin Williamson is back, and he’s been put in charge of educating Britain’s kids?

Oh yes, the former defence secretary has been resurrected into a position of power mere months after being sacked for allegedly leaking state secrets to the press over the role of Chinese tech giant Huawei in the UK’s 5G network.

Well, after being given the boot by Theresa May and narrowly escaping prosecution, three months on Boris has let bygones be bygones, and has let Williamson loose on fixing the school system as education secretary. There is a slight caveat, because while it is a senior job, it doesn’t require top level security clearance. The rest of the cabinet will be keeping their folders well and truly closed when he’s around. 

It’s a quirk of political life that a man who once sold fireplaces for a living can be placed in charge of a nation’s military and then its schools, all in a matter of months.

Headmasters, teachers and pupils have every right to be nervous, because Williamson used his brief tenure as defence secretary desperately trying to start a war. He told Russia, the world’s biggest nuclear power, to “shut up and go away” before threatening to deploy an aircraft carrier off the coast of China and saying he’d be willing to use ‘lethal force.’ 

Asking a man like that for a bit more cash for textbooks is going to be a nervy experience, especially if his famed pet tarantula is sitting on his desk at the time.

His voting record on education suggests he is very much in favour of less funding for students and making them pay higher fees, but is there a bright side for anyone in education with Williamson at the helm?

Well, kids should pay attention because there is a good chance he’ll leak answers to exam questions.    

British parents could see space open up in private schools if he scares off all the Russian and Chinese students.

Schools should be warm though as he can probably still get them a good deal on some heating.

And, ultimately, he will be a role model for all children who can now see that, no matter how unpopular you are, no matter how badly you screw up, no matter how low you sink, there is always a way back. Especially in the Tory party. Inspirational.

By Simon Rite

Simon Rite is a writer based in London for RT, in charge of several projects including the political satire group #ICYMI.

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