Three naked porn stars want to teach you why net neutrality matters. In a hilarious, racy video they explain in the ‘clearest’ possible terms why President Obama’s support for the measure is a step in the right direction for everyone.
Not that many people know what net neutrality entails for them, or why they should care. This belief prompted the comedians at 'Funny or Die' to recruit the three adult film stars to give you the naked truth – that net neutrality is about giving all companies an equal chance at reaching customers by being afforded the same amount of traffic as higher-paying internet giants.
Nadia Styles, Alex Chance and Mercedes Carrera pose absolutely naked in this video, to do a presentation explaining why the reaction from Texas Senator Ted Cruz is unjustified and misguided.
“Net neutrality means that all websites are treated equally,” Carrera, the brunette, coos. “And President Obama just stood ‘hard’ and ‘firm’ on the issue!”
“Because poor people should be able to watch porn just as fast as rich people,” Styles, the one with the dyed hair adds, 'quoting' Obama.
“Net neutrality, aka the internet, as we know it, is like a giant sex party where everyone gets to have sex with anyone they want,” they explain, grabbing onto various body parts for emphasis.
“Unfortunately, Senator Cruz – who is not sexy! – has taken countless donations from telecom giant Comcast and wants to end net neutrality,” they go on. “Ted Cruz doesn’t want me to get naked for you!”
It gets especially funny when the trio is surprised that Cruz, an “old, rich guy,” has taken up such a position, given that ‘old rich guys’ aren’t strangers to porn at all – especially the “weird” kind.
The video ends with the ladies about to engage in a threesome, before the whole thing abruptly freezes, and a spinning ‘loading’ sign appears in the middle.
Senator Cruz outlined his views in a Washington Post op-ed, saying that "government-regulated utilities invariably destroy innovation and freedom. ... If the federal government seizes the power to regulate internet pricing and goods and services, the regulations will never end."
This was in reaction to Obama’s push to file consumer broadband service under Title II of the Telecommunications Act – the reasoning for which he outlined in a recent address on the future of a free and open internet.