The Dark Lord of the Sith and a squad of Imperial stormtroopers attempted an assault on the Ukrainian Ministry of Justice in Kiev on Tuesday. Vader’s attack appeared to have been waged in support of the Internet Party of Ukraine.
The cohort led by the Star Wars anti-hero infiltrated Ukraine’s Justice Ministry, but was stopped short of entering the hallway by the security guards, who promptly blocked the entrance.
“In the name of the Emperor, open the door,” Darth Vader demanded, insisting the “master” must come out and collect an important document. “The door! Open the door!” the stormtroopers echoed, also shouting slogans like “How much longer will you be terrorizing Ukraine?”
Security, however, showed little respect for the Galactic Empire’s power and forced the group out. Pulling back, the Imperial troops managed to take one of the guards hostage.
When asked by the approaching police, the squad leader introduced himself as “Darth Vader, the right hand of Emperor Palpatine,” and said he had a “document to be handed to Lavrynovych,” the Ukrainian Minister of Justice.
The document turned out to be the charter of the Internet Party of Ukraine, which, according to Kievan news portal svidomo.org, party supporters want the Justice Minister to take seriously.
The Internet Party was recently abolished after a ruling of the court at the suit of the Ministry of Justice for allegedly having no regional offices. The party is now trying to appeal this decision.
The party’s program includes “creating an electronic
government in Ukraine.”
Although the Dark Lord and the storm troopers are traditionally supporting the brutal authoritarian regime of the Emperor, this time they chose to stand for a democratic political party that advocates the computerization of the entire country and the elimination of bureaucracy in its negative sense, as well as cutting most of the country's taxes.
It's not yet known whether Vader used his choking force of
darkness on Kiev police or how they managed to survive if he did.
It is also unknown if the authorities’ stubbornness will result in
a full scale invasion by the Empire's starships in