@TC, Well, thank you for catering to my very egocentric self :P  I appreciate the attention.  Anyway, I have thought about this long and hard, and it's getting more difficult since my cognitive abilities are slipping and a good majority of my friends have abandoned me.  I just do not see a future.  If you want to know, I'm trying to garner sympathy from Putin so that he'll fix this.  He doesn't know me, but he insulted me once and he's caused me a lot of grief, so I'm doing what Americans do best: sue for worth. Except, I more or less at his mercy.  I know that that statement will drive you, a person of good character, crazy, but I've been sitting here on RT trying for 6 months or more.  It's my only hope, and hope appears to be some horrific drug.  As far as this guy goes, I don't know.  And if I could think better, I would be successful and people wouldn't treat me so poorly.  Last does not pass...

Kaela... take your medication. Please?

Who knows why this boy did what he did. That's the trouble with permanent solutions to temporary problems. You don't get to learn that whatever pain/shame/change you were afraid of, it really isn't as awful as you were building it up to be once it's in the past. Trust me on this one.

This is unfortunate.  Putin got me in the suicide game.  It was the last straw.  I don't know what it is about disabled people and other people.  They'll say that's not the reason, but there are hundreds of other people on aid or exactly like me...  They'll make me change to their needs or keep me as a doll in the background of their fantasy.  It's annoying.  I don't want to change anymore.  I'm me, and ain't nobody free from sin but Jesus. i'll point right back at you. With Putin, it was about the aid.  They're psycho.  Why do we have a world with disabled people?  Is it punishment from Above?   And then with this guy, what? did he owe someone money and just not want to disgrace his family?